So I am trying to desperately find ways to avoid doing my accounting homework that's due at midnight tomorrow...so far so good.
I feel like if there's anything on my mind right now, it's that for one...this blog must be ressurrected! I feel like I haven't written in it in what seems forever. But now that it's summer, IT'S ON MOTHERFUCKER!
So here is what brings me into this entry, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?
I am STILL stuck on someone who is unattainable...not because he has a girlfriend, but because the universe has 1000 things that are keeping us from not being together.
We're like Ross and Rachel...except us being on a break doesn't get resolved in the final episode.
Then there's this new guy who visually is ideal. HE IS TALL, DARK, AND HANDSOME. But there are so many things that I find wrong with him.
-he has gay tendencies, some of the things he says...I seriously question on whether or not he means it.
-he doesn't exactly know how to be a gentleman 100%, I've paid for my own items more than once, and he has NEVER opened my door. hmmmm
-he acts like he knows me inside and out, and we've only hung out like 5 times.
BUT he is very attractive, aside from some outfit choices...he is visually approving. He is manly and can probably throw me across the room...which I like. However, if I am already finding all of these problems with him, why do I even indulge myself in still getting pursued by this dude.
That's exactly it, he is PURSUING ME. I really don't even call/text the guy, and I have also blatantly dissed him being the bitch that I am. Yet the still has the gall to want to see me. Call it my winning personality (har har), or call it his utter boredom...but he still wants to hang out with me weekly. That's cool.
My friend Luwam had one solution...USE HIM FOR HIS BODY. Well that did cross my mind. His arms alone are enough to keep me hanging on, no literally, I can probably hang off his arms and he would completely be unfazed by it. SUP MR. STRONG. wink wink.
So I can totally use his body and see what he's working with. But then I would feel as though I was soliciting prostitution...but worse! Because I wouldn't be paying him a dime.
Why is it that the good girls always go for the bad boys?
Or worse, why is it that I ALWAYS WANT WHAT I CAN'T HAVE, I really do go for the THRILL OF THE CHASE. When I first met this guy, I really liked him...but as he started to like me and I got to know him more...it felt KAPUT.
But don't be fooled guys...I wasn't always like this. MAYBE I'M OLD AND JADED. Who knows, all I know is this guy right now that is attractive and whatnot...sort of bores me. But then again, it also creates a nice little challenge for me. Maybe I can turn this boring guy into the guy of my dreams.
Or if Buddha is actually listening and caring...maybe that one unattainable guy and I will finally get together and say FUCK OFF to the universe.
Maybe I just like the thrill of the chase.
till next time...
peace, love, and chases
-j
Monday, July 12, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
One Trick Pony...yee haw
Have you ever met someone who you at first thought was uniquely cool? Someone that you thought gee whiz, they're really out there! Well I've met a couple of people like this...but as I got to really truly know them, I realized that they are really just "one trick ponies". Yes these stories are based off of real trick ass bitches that I know. These motherfuckers really do have identities...however I will not reveal who they are and you can't make me.
...unless you coerce me with an unlimited shopping spree at urban or am. app. or can prove to me that Shia LaBeouf or Brandon Boyd are gonns show up at my doorstep. IMPOSSIBLE! so here goes...
Thank you jesus for putting this million trick pony on this earth. brandon boyd...(in a whispering voice) "i love you"
okay, moving on.
Example 1:
The "oh my god, this isn't a costume party", well good cause I'm naked girl
This is literally the girl that everyone other girl hates and the same girl that all the guys want to fuck.
It's the girl who goes to a costume party and looks like she forgot that clothes were actually a necessity. Who am I to judge? Hell, if I had the body of Adrianna Lima from victorias secret...I would probably get arrested on the daily for indecent exposure. However...it gets old.
You're a one trick pony. It's almost like theres no more surprise factor...it's like, "okay if the theme of the party was silly string then I guess you're on point" but the theme is like "church" and yo ass is only wearing a cross. Call me crazy...but I think that's grounds for hell. Ok, so I didn't reallllly see this at a "church" themed party, but the point is...I would not put it past some girls I know.
Here's a tip, next time you go out somewhere and lets say the theme is "ABC" (anything but clothes) you wear something skanky yet funny like a dress made out of loofahs...instead of what people are already expecting out of you. Like 2 shoelaces.
Cause this is what is gonna happen, eventually people are just gonna start looking at you and be like "hmm I saw this coming, BORING" and you're gonna end up looking like a hot mess, like this girl below
on to the next one!
Example 2:
Mr. "I only listen to indie, i only eat tofu, and i only buy clothes that no one else owns" pretentious motherfucker i'd like to call...the delusional hipster/douche.
This guy bugs the FUCK OUT OF ME, which is saying a lot. For one thing, I know a dude or two like this. Perhaps 3 if I'm calling people out. Another thing is...I get these douches alllll the time downtown at work.
It's that one guy who is TOO COOL to listen to mainstream rock like the red hot chilli peppers or foo fighers and who deliberately tries to find indie groups that only vegan hipsters in Canada listen to.
He's that guy who only wears skinny jeans...hey I have nothing against skinny jeans. As a matter of fact, I LIKE TO SEE WHAT IM WORKING WITH, I embrace the skinny jeans on dudes. But when your skinny jeans are acid washed and you swear like they're vintage...then we got a problem.
You know this motherfucker probably used to be ghetto as fuck and wear rubberbands over the bottoms of his jeans...until being a hipster became "the new thing".
Worst of all, he's known for one thing...kind of like how the skanky dressing one trick pony is known for the "ohhh i thought everyone was gonna dress like this" excuse, this dude has the "im different, i speak and act and dress completely insignificantly to what society wants"
fuck you, you're a one trick pony and guess what? your trick ain't even that good.
There they are...minus the girls. UNinterested.com/ jenn
So there they are, the 2 species that I have the most trouble with.
If it were up to me, I'd teach these "one trick ponies" how to develop personalities. But then I would probably have to give up my social life because I'd be too busy helping them. Not an option.
Although this all just sounded like heavy ranting from a bitch who's on her period with a heavy flow...this isn't! I am NOT on my period...go girl, she ain't pms-ing. I think after going on facebook/myspace/ actually knowing people like this in real life has gotten me a little riled up.
But hey, don't let what I say affect how many tricks you wanna learn as a cute lil pony. After all, we are all just some ponies.
Some cuter than others, some more talented than others, and more importantly...some gayer than others.
AM I RIGGGGGGHHHHHT?
peace. love. and a pony that has at least 3 tricks.
<3j
...unless you coerce me with an unlimited shopping spree at urban or am. app. or can prove to me that Shia LaBeouf or Brandon Boyd are gonns show up at my doorstep. IMPOSSIBLE! so here goes...
Thank you jesus for putting this million trick pony on this earth. brandon boyd...(in a whispering voice) "i love you"
okay, moving on.
Example 1:
The "oh my god, this isn't a costume party", well good cause I'm naked girl
This is literally the girl that everyone other girl hates and the same girl that all the guys want to fuck.
It's the girl who goes to a costume party and looks like she forgot that clothes were actually a necessity. Who am I to judge? Hell, if I had the body of Adrianna Lima from victorias secret...I would probably get arrested on the daily for indecent exposure. However...it gets old.
You're a one trick pony. It's almost like theres no more surprise factor...it's like, "okay if the theme of the party was silly string then I guess you're on point" but the theme is like "church" and yo ass is only wearing a cross. Call me crazy...but I think that's grounds for hell. Ok, so I didn't reallllly see this at a "church" themed party, but the point is...I would not put it past some girls I know.
Here's a tip, next time you go out somewhere and lets say the theme is "ABC" (anything but clothes) you wear something skanky yet funny like a dress made out of loofahs...instead of what people are already expecting out of you. Like 2 shoelaces.
Cause this is what is gonna happen, eventually people are just gonna start looking at you and be like "hmm I saw this coming, BORING" and you're gonna end up looking like a hot mess, like this girl below
on to the next one!
Example 2:
Mr. "I only listen to indie, i only eat tofu, and i only buy clothes that no one else owns" pretentious motherfucker i'd like to call...the delusional hipster/douche.
This guy bugs the FUCK OUT OF ME, which is saying a lot. For one thing, I know a dude or two like this. Perhaps 3 if I'm calling people out. Another thing is...I get these douches alllll the time downtown at work.
It's that one guy who is TOO COOL to listen to mainstream rock like the red hot chilli peppers or foo fighers and who deliberately tries to find indie groups that only vegan hipsters in Canada listen to.
He's that guy who only wears skinny jeans...hey I have nothing against skinny jeans. As a matter of fact, I LIKE TO SEE WHAT IM WORKING WITH, I embrace the skinny jeans on dudes. But when your skinny jeans are acid washed and you swear like they're vintage...then we got a problem.
You know this motherfucker probably used to be ghetto as fuck and wear rubberbands over the bottoms of his jeans...until being a hipster became "the new thing".
Worst of all, he's known for one thing...kind of like how the skanky dressing one trick pony is known for the "ohhh i thought everyone was gonna dress like this" excuse, this dude has the "im different, i speak and act and dress completely insignificantly to what society wants"
fuck you, you're a one trick pony and guess what? your trick ain't even that good.
There they are...minus the girls. UNinterested.com/ jenn
So there they are, the 2 species that I have the most trouble with.
If it were up to me, I'd teach these "one trick ponies" how to develop personalities. But then I would probably have to give up my social life because I'd be too busy helping them. Not an option.
Although this all just sounded like heavy ranting from a bitch who's on her period with a heavy flow...this isn't! I am NOT on my period...go girl, she ain't pms-ing. I think after going on facebook/myspace/ actually knowing people like this in real life has gotten me a little riled up.
But hey, don't let what I say affect how many tricks you wanna learn as a cute lil pony. After all, we are all just some ponies.
Some cuter than others, some more talented than others, and more importantly...some gayer than others.
AM I RIGGGGGGHHHHHT?
peace. love. and a pony that has at least 3 tricks.
<3j
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Life would be so much easier...
if I didn't like you so much.
Why can't you...
-be 5 feet tall
-have bad taste in music like only listening to Miley Cyrus and Los Lonely Boys
-dress in Ed Hardy and wear jeans with dragon embroidery on it
-not adore all of the same movies I love and be able to repeat all the lines
-have a lazy eye like Quasi-Moto instead of nice brooding eyes
-be a complete and utter asshole and not care about anyone's feelings
-not have an affinity for humor and just say dumb dick jokes that all other guys use
-be that one guy that all the girls want
why can't you be anyone else but you?
<3 hopeless romantic
Why can't you...
-be 5 feet tall
-have bad taste in music like only listening to Miley Cyrus and Los Lonely Boys
-dress in Ed Hardy and wear jeans with dragon embroidery on it
-not adore all of the same movies I love and be able to repeat all the lines
-have a lazy eye like Quasi-Moto instead of nice brooding eyes
-be a complete and utter asshole and not care about anyone's feelings
-not have an affinity for humor and just say dumb dick jokes that all other guys use
-be that one guy that all the girls want
why can't you be anyone else but you?
<3 hopeless romantic
Monday, October 26, 2009
"Alright let's cut the shit, It's time to get SERIOUS"
It was a thursday evening around 5:45pm when I had a revelation that came tooooo late. I take economics at a community college twice a week from 6-9pm, meaning for 8 weeks I'll have no life. It took the second day of my class for me to realize why I was there.
I came to class 15 mins. early because I like sitting in the back, and to be honest there are freaking weird ass people in that class, so I try and sit in the back with my purse on the seat next to me to avoid awkward situations. As if I'm not awkward enough.
When I was waiting for class to start, I heard some of the students talking to the professor and they were all completely and utterly engaged in a conversation about economics. They weren't shooting the shit, they were ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT MATTERED AND KNOWING WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT.
...and it dawned on me, they were going to school to LEARN.
I know what you're thinking, uh no shit Jenn...isn't that why you go to school?
When I was a freshmen... YES, now I'm not too sure.
It all came full circle, these ADULTS who were in my class were students genuinely trying to learn and trying to transfer to a 4 year university. I was taking the class because I was blindsided by getting an "easy A" at the community college. They were taking that class, because they were interested in both the topic and transferring.
I complain about taking 15 units, but some of the people in this class were full time students who also worked 2 jobs and still managed to make it to class and understand the content.
I felt like for the first time in a long time, I was in an environment where I was meant to better myself.
Somehow with the partying and drugs and sex, a blurred line develops that stands in the way of why you even went to college in the first place.
Today, there are no TABOOs. Everything is said, everything is done, everything become so played out and passe.
I get so sick and tired of hearing about raves, dropping E, and getting high all the time. When did it ever become okay in society to brag about how many times you intoxicated your body full of unnnatural substances. Why is it that the only dates we care about are the ones where a rave event is coming up. Why is it that people parade around their bongs, pipes, and miscellaneous weed paraphalnalia like they just won the nobel prize? I have done drugs, and I certainly don't look down on people who do them, but in a short life when we only have so much time to make something of ourselves...don't we want to take that extra hour we spent getting high and do something ACTUALLY PRODUCTIVE?
Sex has become so over inflated in college, that it doesn't become a matter or interest in a person, it becomes a number. I personally am not promiscuous in this subject, those of you who know me, KNOW THAT. However, when someone's prime goal at a party is "to get some", then I think...can't you do that sober? Call me old fashioned, but I do believe in romance. If you slept with over 10 people and less than half are people that you've dated seriously, then boo boo we got some problems. I know that you're thinking, "Ain't no fun if the homies can't have none". But today, another lyric that goes with that is "Ain't no fun if the STDS come!" yeah...if all else fails, please use protection, otherwise I'm gonna make you name your baby after me.
What handle are you bringing to the party?
Alcohol, has become so mainstream that I honestly don't know why I drink it anymore. I hate being drunk, I like being buzzed, but I've lived over 17 years before I actually started drinking. I could probably live another 17 years without drinking, if I tried. Seeing drunk people get all crazy and sloppy and sometimes too wild gets old, after awhile...I just wanna change the channel.
I know what you all are thinking, what the hell Jenn..this blog was depressing and hypocritical!
Well I say suck it.
I heard these students having A REAL CONVERSATION about things that mattered, cut the bullshit. It's time to get serious.
PEOPLE WHO ONLY CARE ABOUT SEX, DRUGS, AND ALCOHOL NEED NOT APPLY:
I'm looking for some good company...who like to party SOMETIMES.
even though I do dread the 3 hours I spend twice a week in that class...at least I'm learning something.
...and sometimes that's better than nothing.
OKAY, OKAY back to less morose and thought provoking blogs.
-j
(don't worry, I'm still tryna party...just not EVERY week)
Not my motto...
ME UP.
I came to class 15 mins. early because I like sitting in the back, and to be honest there are freaking weird ass people in that class, so I try and sit in the back with my purse on the seat next to me to avoid awkward situations. As if I'm not awkward enough.
When I was waiting for class to start, I heard some of the students talking to the professor and they were all completely and utterly engaged in a conversation about economics. They weren't shooting the shit, they were ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT MATTERED AND KNOWING WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT.
...and it dawned on me, they were going to school to LEARN.
I know what you're thinking, uh no shit Jenn...isn't that why you go to school?
When I was a freshmen... YES, now I'm not too sure.
It all came full circle, these ADULTS who were in my class were students genuinely trying to learn and trying to transfer to a 4 year university. I was taking the class because I was blindsided by getting an "easy A" at the community college. They were taking that class, because they were interested in both the topic and transferring.
I complain about taking 15 units, but some of the people in this class were full time students who also worked 2 jobs and still managed to make it to class and understand the content.
I felt like for the first time in a long time, I was in an environment where I was meant to better myself.
Somehow with the partying and drugs and sex, a blurred line develops that stands in the way of why you even went to college in the first place.
Today, there are no TABOOs. Everything is said, everything is done, everything become so played out and passe.
I get so sick and tired of hearing about raves, dropping E, and getting high all the time. When did it ever become okay in society to brag about how many times you intoxicated your body full of unnnatural substances. Why is it that the only dates we care about are the ones where a rave event is coming up. Why is it that people parade around their bongs, pipes, and miscellaneous weed paraphalnalia like they just won the nobel prize? I have done drugs, and I certainly don't look down on people who do them, but in a short life when we only have so much time to make something of ourselves...don't we want to take that extra hour we spent getting high and do something ACTUALLY PRODUCTIVE?
Sex has become so over inflated in college, that it doesn't become a matter or interest in a person, it becomes a number. I personally am not promiscuous in this subject, those of you who know me, KNOW THAT. However, when someone's prime goal at a party is "to get some", then I think...can't you do that sober? Call me old fashioned, but I do believe in romance. If you slept with over 10 people and less than half are people that you've dated seriously, then boo boo we got some problems. I know that you're thinking, "Ain't no fun if the homies can't have none". But today, another lyric that goes with that is "Ain't no fun if the STDS come!" yeah...if all else fails, please use protection, otherwise I'm gonna make you name your baby after me.
What handle are you bringing to the party?
Alcohol, has become so mainstream that I honestly don't know why I drink it anymore. I hate being drunk, I like being buzzed, but I've lived over 17 years before I actually started drinking. I could probably live another 17 years without drinking, if I tried. Seeing drunk people get all crazy and sloppy and sometimes too wild gets old, after awhile...I just wanna change the channel.
I know what you all are thinking, what the hell Jenn..this blog was depressing and hypocritical!
Well I say suck it.
I heard these students having A REAL CONVERSATION about things that mattered, cut the bullshit. It's time to get serious.
PEOPLE WHO ONLY CARE ABOUT SEX, DRUGS, AND ALCOHOL NEED NOT APPLY:
I'm looking for some good company...who like to party SOMETIMES.
even though I do dread the 3 hours I spend twice a week in that class...at least I'm learning something.
...and sometimes that's better than nothing.
OKAY, OKAY back to less morose and thought provoking blogs.
-j
(don't worry, I'm still tryna party...just not EVERY week)
Not my motto...
ME UP.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Greek Sauce...(get it?)
I've officially been submerged into the "Greek" language, and I can barely speak my own native language.
So I've been known as the weirdo all my life with weird lingo, and certain words and sentences I piece together, I hardly know what it means. However when I did become part of a sorority and hang out more and more with greek people, I started to pick up certain things that I have honestly never heard before. Some phrases/words I actually do like and use from time to time, but there are just some words that I feel should be deleted from having that second connotation.
Ready, set, flow...
SWOOOOOOOOP!
ex: "I was gonna make out with DeAndre, but Deshawnda helllla swooooooped on me!"
Meaning someone inadvertedly cockblocked you. I actually do like this term, because it is sort of a swift movement that goes on, when someone does sweep that person from underneath your feet. Like, SWOOP THERE IT IS! Trust me, it happens a lot. So much that you need a saying that is short and sweet and straight to the point, I believe that SWOOP does that. The noun "Swooper" is even better, cause let's be honest, there are a lot out there, and sometimes I do prefer to be politically correct and say SWOOPER, instead of COCKBLOCKER in front of people. Especially children ages 3+
CROSS FADED
ex: "I can't drove home, I'm fucked up...I'm cross faded"
Okay, so technically I heard this term in highschool. However I was hoping that when I got to college that it was going to disappear because it sounds really stupid. It means that you're under the influence 2 different ways, usually high and drunk. I think it sounds more like something in MORTAL COMBAT or like TOKYO DRIFT. Like "Omg Scorpion just cross faded Sub Zero." Unfortunately that term is here to stay.
CUPCAKE
So I don't know if like Fat Joe invented this term or Rosie O' Donnell but I personally HATE this term.
ex: "Yoker is totally cupcaking with Jelissa" (yeah I tried it make it sound cholo)
WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Technically I guess it means to be sweet to someone. But if that were the case, why can't we use the term..."Donut?"
Like, "Dammmmmmmn Yoker is donuting with Jelissa" Same shit, different pastry.
All I know is, if someone refers to me dating someone as cupcaking, I will literally take a real cupcake and smash it in their face. Sorry, so angry. But food should never be a reference to romance...with one exception: "I love you like a fat kid loves cake". Thanks 50.
FAMS/Pseudo/Fave= Don't hate these terms, but don't love em either. What ever happened to calling people by their names, or by other terms of endearment like "booboo"?
THE PIT
okay...so this only really related to my school.
ex: "I parked at the pit, walk with me so I don't get buttraped!"
The pit refers to the area that is between 2 parking structures. I guess you could call it the middle, but the pit is more distinct. I surprisingly always park there so yes I do use the term. However only certain people call it that, and if you were to say it to anyone else, they would think you were crazy. I personally think "the pit" sounds like a ring for illegal cockfighting and drugs. "I picked up my meth at the pit" or "Yeah I got gonorrhea from the pit". Don't worry these sentences are fake, nothing like that goes on in the pit. I HOPE, OTHERWISE I HAVE TO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO PARK.
So I could post up 589328502530 more words and phrases that I hear allll the time now in college, but I am on the verge of getting carpal tunnel syndrome (spelling?) or arthritis in my hands. Same shit, different term.
You get the point...
go slang!
<3 j boo boo (a.k.a. not a swooper)
So I've been known as the weirdo all my life with weird lingo, and certain words and sentences I piece together, I hardly know what it means. However when I did become part of a sorority and hang out more and more with greek people, I started to pick up certain things that I have honestly never heard before. Some phrases/words I actually do like and use from time to time, but there are just some words that I feel should be deleted from having that second connotation.
Ready, set, flow...
SWOOOOOOOOP!
ex: "I was gonna make out with DeAndre, but Deshawnda helllla swooooooped on me!"
Meaning someone inadvertedly cockblocked you. I actually do like this term, because it is sort of a swift movement that goes on, when someone does sweep that person from underneath your feet. Like, SWOOP THERE IT IS! Trust me, it happens a lot. So much that you need a saying that is short and sweet and straight to the point, I believe that SWOOP does that. The noun "Swooper" is even better, cause let's be honest, there are a lot out there, and sometimes I do prefer to be politically correct and say SWOOPER, instead of COCKBLOCKER in front of people. Especially children ages 3+
CROSS FADED
ex: "I can't drove home, I'm fucked up...I'm cross faded"
Okay, so technically I heard this term in highschool. However I was hoping that when I got to college that it was going to disappear because it sounds really stupid. It means that you're under the influence 2 different ways, usually high and drunk. I think it sounds more like something in MORTAL COMBAT or like TOKYO DRIFT. Like "Omg Scorpion just cross faded Sub Zero." Unfortunately that term is here to stay.
CUPCAKE
So I don't know if like Fat Joe invented this term or Rosie O' Donnell but I personally HATE this term.
ex: "Yoker is totally cupcaking with Jelissa" (yeah I tried it make it sound cholo)
WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Technically I guess it means to be sweet to someone. But if that were the case, why can't we use the term..."Donut?"
Like, "Dammmmmmmn Yoker is donuting with Jelissa" Same shit, different pastry.
All I know is, if someone refers to me dating someone as cupcaking, I will literally take a real cupcake and smash it in their face. Sorry, so angry. But food should never be a reference to romance...with one exception: "I love you like a fat kid loves cake". Thanks 50.
FAMS/Pseudo/Fave= Don't hate these terms, but don't love em either. What ever happened to calling people by their names, or by other terms of endearment like "booboo"?
THE PIT
okay...so this only really related to my school.
ex: "I parked at the pit, walk with me so I don't get buttraped!"
The pit refers to the area that is between 2 parking structures. I guess you could call it the middle, but the pit is more distinct. I surprisingly always park there so yes I do use the term. However only certain people call it that, and if you were to say it to anyone else, they would think you were crazy. I personally think "the pit" sounds like a ring for illegal cockfighting and drugs. "I picked up my meth at the pit" or "Yeah I got gonorrhea from the pit". Don't worry these sentences are fake, nothing like that goes on in the pit. I HOPE, OTHERWISE I HAVE TO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO PARK.
So I could post up 589328502530 more words and phrases that I hear allll the time now in college, but I am on the verge of getting carpal tunnel syndrome (spelling?) or arthritis in my hands. Same shit, different term.
You get the point...
go slang!
<3 j boo boo (a.k.a. not a swooper)
Trick whORe Treat
So as I am writing this, I am thinking of all of the brilliant halloween costumes that I have seen throughout the ages.
One common theme that I did notice, was that as the years go by less and less is worn by both men and women!
I mean, I know there's a recession but I'm pretty sure walking out in a loincloth and messy hair and saying that you're Tarzan is still borderline indecent exposure. (which can sometimes be a good thing, am I right ladies?) haha. Anywhozels, here's an example.
The point of Halloween was to wear something scary right? The point is to scare people with a ridiculously and shockingly gruesome costume...
I guess the ladies are taking a different approach, they are using the OTHER scare factor. Pretty much, the message in this era is "I'm going to look so goddamn sexy in my string of a costume that I'm going to scare your pants off". Am I right? Why else would the typical gorilla costume be later translated into society today as a girl just wearing a fur bikini and holding a banana. I guess it's the same.
This is what used to be considered normal...
Now this is more of what you see on the streets...circa NOW
So here are a couple of SHALLOWeen costumes that I have thought of for you ladies, who want to use this scary holiday as a chance to showcase their lack of or gift of good looks.
Banana...
I know what you're thinking, WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO BE A BANANA? They aren't even sexy. Here's my idea ladies. Find a tight yellow dress that has a zipper in the front, trust me. There are some. Then wear a cute creme colored bra underneath and unzip it enough so that you can see the bra, and wear it with yellow pumps. Then just make a Chiquita banana sticker stick it on anywhere you want. Possibly by the end of the night, the whole peel will come off.
Grizzly bear...
I know you're thinking...being hairy is NOT CUTE BOO BOO. But I saw a black fur vest at forever 21 ( yeah of course there! right?) So wear that black fur vest with a cute black bra and some black boyshorts. Then take make some black bear ears out of cutting up felt and gluing it to a headband. Finally finishing touches, I saw a honey jar purse at party city, and some black pumps. ta-dah! you just made winnie the pooh look like a douche.
Michael Jackson...
I know that every guy is probably going to be Michael Jackson for halloween cause he is THE LEGEND, however girls can too. Just wear a cute white shirt, but tie it up so that your stomach shows. Next wear it with either a red/maroon leather jacket or a member's only jacket ( something bomber jacket style). Next wear some sequined booty shorts (saw some at pink zone) with white socks that show and black heels. Finally finish it off with a white sequined glove, and a cute fedora hat.
So...those are just a few ideas that I know most people think of and assume girls cannot make sexy. However, it is possible! Trust me, if you can make a nun outfit slutty, you can make BABYBOP slutty!
I don't know exactly what I'm going to be for halloween, but I have a couple of tricks up my sleeve. Looks like you're just going to have to hang out with me to see what I am. I ain't playa hating, I always skank up my halloween costume...I have been since 8th grade (don't tell my mom).
However, there is one costume that I WOULD NOT MIND SEEING THIS YEAR...
...SEXaroni pizza, anyone? I'll have a slice.
-dont quote me on that...
<3 jenilla killah
One common theme that I did notice, was that as the years go by less and less is worn by both men and women!
I mean, I know there's a recession but I'm pretty sure walking out in a loincloth and messy hair and saying that you're Tarzan is still borderline indecent exposure. (which can sometimes be a good thing, am I right ladies?) haha. Anywhozels, here's an example.
The point of Halloween was to wear something scary right? The point is to scare people with a ridiculously and shockingly gruesome costume...
I guess the ladies are taking a different approach, they are using the OTHER scare factor. Pretty much, the message in this era is "I'm going to look so goddamn sexy in my string of a costume that I'm going to scare your pants off". Am I right? Why else would the typical gorilla costume be later translated into society today as a girl just wearing a fur bikini and holding a banana. I guess it's the same.
This is what used to be considered normal...
Now this is more of what you see on the streets...circa NOW
So here are a couple of SHALLOWeen costumes that I have thought of for you ladies, who want to use this scary holiday as a chance to showcase their lack of or gift of good looks.
Banana...
I know what you're thinking, WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO BE A BANANA? They aren't even sexy. Here's my idea ladies. Find a tight yellow dress that has a zipper in the front, trust me. There are some. Then wear a cute creme colored bra underneath and unzip it enough so that you can see the bra, and wear it with yellow pumps. Then just make a Chiquita banana sticker stick it on anywhere you want. Possibly by the end of the night, the whole peel will come off.
Grizzly bear...
I know you're thinking...being hairy is NOT CUTE BOO BOO. But I saw a black fur vest at forever 21 ( yeah of course there! right?) So wear that black fur vest with a cute black bra and some black boyshorts. Then take make some black bear ears out of cutting up felt and gluing it to a headband. Finally finishing touches, I saw a honey jar purse at party city, and some black pumps. ta-dah! you just made winnie the pooh look like a douche.
Michael Jackson...
I know that every guy is probably going to be Michael Jackson for halloween cause he is THE LEGEND, however girls can too. Just wear a cute white shirt, but tie it up so that your stomach shows. Next wear it with either a red/maroon leather jacket or a member's only jacket ( something bomber jacket style). Next wear some sequined booty shorts (saw some at pink zone) with white socks that show and black heels. Finally finish it off with a white sequined glove, and a cute fedora hat.
So...those are just a few ideas that I know most people think of and assume girls cannot make sexy. However, it is possible! Trust me, if you can make a nun outfit slutty, you can make BABYBOP slutty!
I don't know exactly what I'm going to be for halloween, but I have a couple of tricks up my sleeve. Looks like you're just going to have to hang out with me to see what I am. I ain't playa hating, I always skank up my halloween costume...I have been since 8th grade (don't tell my mom).
However, there is one costume that I WOULD NOT MIND SEEING THIS YEAR...
...SEXaroni pizza, anyone? I'll have a slice.
-dont quote me on that...
<3 jenilla killah
Monday, September 28, 2009
"It's me Bitches...."
So I was on a break with Blogspot for awhile, for those of you who actually care...all 3 of you. Yes Christine you are definitely one of the 3. Also yes it was a break, an actual one like Ross and Rachel on the best show ever, FRIENDS. But then I realized that FUCK, I MISS YOU BLOGSPOT...CAN I HAVE A 2ND CHANCE? I'LL LET YOU GO TO 2ND BASE WITH ME? and of course Blogspot couldn't resist...SO I'M BACK PUTAS.
This particular entry is really just going to be an update of current events that have happened...
Customer Complaint #2:
So these four filipino guys came into my store sunday and long story short, this jiggaboo with small ass size 8 feet got allllll types of offended just because I wasn't "Sally Sunshine" to him when I grabbed him the 5 pairs of shoes he tried on. Meanwhile while this dickhead is trying on his baby shoes, his friends are just sitting on all of the benches taking up space. ANNOYING. So when he wanted to buy one of the shoes on display, all I asked was if he wanted to try it on before he purchased it...I GUESS IT WAS THE SAME AS TELLING HIM TO "SUCK IT" BECAUSE HE GOT REALLY OFFENDED. I guess....
So then he bought the shoes and asked Maggie for the "customer complaint number", I guess I wasn't nice enough to him? I mean what did he expect? For me to helllllla put the shoes on his feet for him, cradle him, and tell him that "everything's gonna be alright". Come the fuck on, I barely give that treatment to babies who try on shoes in my store. Trust me, I can act bitchy as fuck if I wanted to...but I wasn't. In the end it just shows...some guys are sensitive pricks. Hmmm moving on...
My love life...
What's non existant + invisible = a pretty fucking dry spell.
My love life is so non existant, that sometimes I just want to bust out in song singing "I want to know what love is" by Foreigner? but then I realize that that's creepy and really it's me that's making my love life absent is that I just refuse to lower my standards. Plus all of the guys that I do fancy, end up liking some other bitch who usually has the cute factor...you know like shorter than 5'8'' and wears forever 21 and hollister/abercrombie and listens to mainstream music, AKA NOT ME.
I guess if I wanted a guy right now I could have one...just not one that I wanted, I could have a shorter guy with spikey hair, listens to soley hip hop and r&b, wears socks with sandals, and PROBABLY HANGS OUT AT TAPIOCA EXPRESS 3 TIMES A WEEK. Thank you, DON'T COME AGAIN.
Oh yeah, this guy that I liked all last summer and until last winter came into my store with HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND...and then after I threw a hammer at his head. Just kidding...it was a refridgerator. (then I threw a wrench at his girlfriend, because you know...I don't know her personally, so you gotta start small). Fuck it.
I just wish that one of these days I can do a little something something to the Drake and Lykke Li version of "Little Bit". Such a sexy song, holy cow.
My rap name is like Coolio but with an S, Scoolio?
So School, GOTTA STUDY GOTTA STUDY GOTTA STUDY GOTTA STUDY. I am on the brink of graduating in 5 years, and I'm okay with that. As long as I graduate before my 15 yr old cousin, I'm good. Brenda girl, I hope you slow your roll.
I'm working on my EASY A class, general studies 420 and damn I really hope that this class brings up my gpa a whole lot...otherwise it's goodbye social life, HELLO CONFINED ROOM WITH 4 WALLS AND INTERNET ACCESS SOLELY TO GOOGLE SCHOLAR.
Let's see...what else is going on?
-a short mexican guy denied repeatedly annoyingly poking my ass with his watch accidentally before the common and friends concert.
-i am obsessed with ice cream milk tea from tapex...it's close to heaven in your mouth. rich and creamy, just like.......A MILKSHAKE. if you were thinking about something else, jiggas you nasty!
-i have kept up a pretty damn good streak of NOT WEARING JEANS/PANTS to school thus far, which will hopefully enable to keep my luxurious leg tan longer since all I've been wearing were gam exposing outfits...like you know star pasties and bootyshorts.
-I finally realized that my older coworker who has been hitting on me for the past year is SORT OF CUTE...but that's it.
-I really should get another job before these customer complaints push me in the unemployment line.
-I need to join 24 hour fitness because bathing suit season is over, but all of the major EAT TILL YOUR BOOTY DROPS holidays are coming up and I must stay "in shape".
-After seeing Common at his concert, realized that he has a BEAUTIFUL face structure.
Last but not least...I WILL FINALLY RESSURECT (SPELLING?) MY BLOGSPOT. (until it pisses me off again and we get a divorce for good)
Peace, love, and Sweet tea (craving some, fuck! mcdonald's is closed)
-jenilli jenilli jenilli
This particular entry is really just going to be an update of current events that have happened...
Customer Complaint #2:
So these four filipino guys came into my store sunday and long story short, this jiggaboo with small ass size 8 feet got allllll types of offended just because I wasn't "Sally Sunshine" to him when I grabbed him the 5 pairs of shoes he tried on. Meanwhile while this dickhead is trying on his baby shoes, his friends are just sitting on all of the benches taking up space. ANNOYING. So when he wanted to buy one of the shoes on display, all I asked was if he wanted to try it on before he purchased it...I GUESS IT WAS THE SAME AS TELLING HIM TO "SUCK IT" BECAUSE HE GOT REALLY OFFENDED. I guess....
So then he bought the shoes and asked Maggie for the "customer complaint number", I guess I wasn't nice enough to him? I mean what did he expect? For me to helllllla put the shoes on his feet for him, cradle him, and tell him that "everything's gonna be alright". Come the fuck on, I barely give that treatment to babies who try on shoes in my store. Trust me, I can act bitchy as fuck if I wanted to...but I wasn't. In the end it just shows...some guys are sensitive pricks. Hmmm moving on...
My love life...
What's non existant + invisible = a pretty fucking dry spell.
My love life is so non existant, that sometimes I just want to bust out in song singing "I want to know what love is" by Foreigner? but then I realize that that's creepy and really it's me that's making my love life absent is that I just refuse to lower my standards. Plus all of the guys that I do fancy, end up liking some other bitch who usually has the cute factor...you know like shorter than 5'8'' and wears forever 21 and hollister/abercrombie and listens to mainstream music, AKA NOT ME.
I guess if I wanted a guy right now I could have one...just not one that I wanted, I could have a shorter guy with spikey hair, listens to soley hip hop and r&b, wears socks with sandals, and PROBABLY HANGS OUT AT TAPIOCA EXPRESS 3 TIMES A WEEK. Thank you, DON'T COME AGAIN.
Oh yeah, this guy that I liked all last summer and until last winter came into my store with HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND...and then after I threw a hammer at his head. Just kidding...it was a refridgerator. (then I threw a wrench at his girlfriend, because you know...I don't know her personally, so you gotta start small). Fuck it.
I just wish that one of these days I can do a little something something to the Drake and Lykke Li version of "Little Bit". Such a sexy song, holy cow.
My rap name is like Coolio but with an S, Scoolio?
So School, GOTTA STUDY GOTTA STUDY GOTTA STUDY GOTTA STUDY. I am on the brink of graduating in 5 years, and I'm okay with that. As long as I graduate before my 15 yr old cousin, I'm good. Brenda girl, I hope you slow your roll.
I'm working on my EASY A class, general studies 420 and damn I really hope that this class brings up my gpa a whole lot...otherwise it's goodbye social life, HELLO CONFINED ROOM WITH 4 WALLS AND INTERNET ACCESS SOLELY TO GOOGLE SCHOLAR.
Let's see...what else is going on?
-a short mexican guy denied repeatedly annoyingly poking my ass with his watch accidentally before the common and friends concert.
-i am obsessed with ice cream milk tea from tapex...it's close to heaven in your mouth. rich and creamy, just like.......A MILKSHAKE. if you were thinking about something else, jiggas you nasty!
-i have kept up a pretty damn good streak of NOT WEARING JEANS/PANTS to school thus far, which will hopefully enable to keep my luxurious leg tan longer since all I've been wearing were gam exposing outfits...like you know star pasties and bootyshorts.
-I finally realized that my older coworker who has been hitting on me for the past year is SORT OF CUTE...but that's it.
-I really should get another job before these customer complaints push me in the unemployment line.
-I need to join 24 hour fitness because bathing suit season is over, but all of the major EAT TILL YOUR BOOTY DROPS holidays are coming up and I must stay "in shape".
-After seeing Common at his concert, realized that he has a BEAUTIFUL face structure.
Last but not least...I WILL FINALLY RESSURECT (SPELLING?) MY BLOGSPOT. (until it pisses me off again and we get a divorce for good)
Peace, love, and Sweet tea (craving some, fuck! mcdonald's is closed)
-jenilli jenilli jenilli
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