So I am trying to desperately find ways to avoid doing my accounting homework that's due at midnight tomorrow...so far so good.
I feel like if there's anything on my mind right now, it's that for one...this blog must be ressurrected! I feel like I haven't written in it in what seems forever. But now that it's summer, IT'S ON MOTHERFUCKER!
So here is what brings me into this entry, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?
I am STILL stuck on someone who is unattainable...not because he has a girlfriend, but because the universe has 1000 things that are keeping us from not being together.
We're like Ross and Rachel...except us being on a break doesn't get resolved in the final episode.
Then there's this new guy who visually is ideal. HE IS TALL, DARK, AND HANDSOME. But there are so many things that I find wrong with him.
-he has gay tendencies, some of the things he says...I seriously question on whether or not he means it.
-he doesn't exactly know how to be a gentleman 100%, I've paid for my own items more than once, and he has NEVER opened my door. hmmmm
-he acts like he knows me inside and out, and we've only hung out like 5 times.
BUT he is very attractive, aside from some outfit choices...he is visually approving. He is manly and can probably throw me across the room...which I like. However, if I am already finding all of these problems with him, why do I even indulge myself in still getting pursued by this dude.
That's exactly it, he is PURSUING ME. I really don't even call/text the guy, and I have also blatantly dissed him being the bitch that I am. Yet the still has the gall to want to see me. Call it my winning personality (har har), or call it his utter boredom...but he still wants to hang out with me weekly. That's cool.
My friend Luwam had one solution...USE HIM FOR HIS BODY. Well that did cross my mind. His arms alone are enough to keep me hanging on, no literally, I can probably hang off his arms and he would completely be unfazed by it. SUP MR. STRONG. wink wink.
So I can totally use his body and see what he's working with. But then I would feel as though I was soliciting prostitution...but worse! Because I wouldn't be paying him a dime.
Why is it that the good girls always go for the bad boys?
Or worse, why is it that I ALWAYS WANT WHAT I CAN'T HAVE, I really do go for the THRILL OF THE CHASE. When I first met this guy, I really liked him...but as he started to like me and I got to know him more...it felt KAPUT.
But don't be fooled guys...I wasn't always like this. MAYBE I'M OLD AND JADED. Who knows, all I know is this guy right now that is attractive and whatnot...sort of bores me. But then again, it also creates a nice little challenge for me. Maybe I can turn this boring guy into the guy of my dreams.
Or if Buddha is actually listening and caring...maybe that one unattainable guy and I will finally get together and say FUCK OFF to the universe.
Maybe I just like the thrill of the chase.
till next time...
peace, love, and chases
-j
Monday, July 12, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
One Trick Pony...yee haw
Have you ever met someone who you at first thought was uniquely cool? Someone that you thought gee whiz, they're really out there! Well I've met a couple of people like this...but as I got to really truly know them, I realized that they are really just "one trick ponies". Yes these stories are based off of real trick ass bitches that I know. These motherfuckers really do have identities...however I will not reveal who they are and you can't make me.
...unless you coerce me with an unlimited shopping spree at urban or am. app. or can prove to me that Shia LaBeouf or Brandon Boyd are gonns show up at my doorstep. IMPOSSIBLE! so here goes...
Thank you jesus for putting this million trick pony on this earth. brandon boyd...(in a whispering voice) "i love you"
okay, moving on.
Example 1:
The "oh my god, this isn't a costume party", well good cause I'm naked girl
This is literally the girl that everyone other girl hates and the same girl that all the guys want to fuck.
It's the girl who goes to a costume party and looks like she forgot that clothes were actually a necessity. Who am I to judge? Hell, if I had the body of Adrianna Lima from victorias secret...I would probably get arrested on the daily for indecent exposure. However...it gets old.
You're a one trick pony. It's almost like theres no more surprise factor...it's like, "okay if the theme of the party was silly string then I guess you're on point" but the theme is like "church" and yo ass is only wearing a cross. Call me crazy...but I think that's grounds for hell. Ok, so I didn't reallllly see this at a "church" themed party, but the point is...I would not put it past some girls I know.
Here's a tip, next time you go out somewhere and lets say the theme is "ABC" (anything but clothes) you wear something skanky yet funny like a dress made out of loofahs...instead of what people are already expecting out of you. Like 2 shoelaces.
Cause this is what is gonna happen, eventually people are just gonna start looking at you and be like "hmm I saw this coming, BORING" and you're gonna end up looking like a hot mess, like this girl below
on to the next one!
Example 2:
Mr. "I only listen to indie, i only eat tofu, and i only buy clothes that no one else owns" pretentious motherfucker i'd like to call...the delusional hipster/douche.
This guy bugs the FUCK OUT OF ME, which is saying a lot. For one thing, I know a dude or two like this. Perhaps 3 if I'm calling people out. Another thing is...I get these douches alllll the time downtown at work.
It's that one guy who is TOO COOL to listen to mainstream rock like the red hot chilli peppers or foo fighers and who deliberately tries to find indie groups that only vegan hipsters in Canada listen to.
He's that guy who only wears skinny jeans...hey I have nothing against skinny jeans. As a matter of fact, I LIKE TO SEE WHAT IM WORKING WITH, I embrace the skinny jeans on dudes. But when your skinny jeans are acid washed and you swear like they're vintage...then we got a problem.
You know this motherfucker probably used to be ghetto as fuck and wear rubberbands over the bottoms of his jeans...until being a hipster became "the new thing".
Worst of all, he's known for one thing...kind of like how the skanky dressing one trick pony is known for the "ohhh i thought everyone was gonna dress like this" excuse, this dude has the "im different, i speak and act and dress completely insignificantly to what society wants"
fuck you, you're a one trick pony and guess what? your trick ain't even that good.
There they are...minus the girls. UNinterested.com/ jenn
So there they are, the 2 species that I have the most trouble with.
If it were up to me, I'd teach these "one trick ponies" how to develop personalities. But then I would probably have to give up my social life because I'd be too busy helping them. Not an option.
Although this all just sounded like heavy ranting from a bitch who's on her period with a heavy flow...this isn't! I am NOT on my period...go girl, she ain't pms-ing. I think after going on facebook/myspace/ actually knowing people like this in real life has gotten me a little riled up.
But hey, don't let what I say affect how many tricks you wanna learn as a cute lil pony. After all, we are all just some ponies.
Some cuter than others, some more talented than others, and more importantly...some gayer than others.
AM I RIGGGGGGHHHHHT?
peace. love. and a pony that has at least 3 tricks.
<3j
...unless you coerce me with an unlimited shopping spree at urban or am. app. or can prove to me that Shia LaBeouf or Brandon Boyd are gonns show up at my doorstep. IMPOSSIBLE! so here goes...
Thank you jesus for putting this million trick pony on this earth. brandon boyd...(in a whispering voice) "i love you"
okay, moving on.
Example 1:
The "oh my god, this isn't a costume party", well good cause I'm naked girl
This is literally the girl that everyone other girl hates and the same girl that all the guys want to fuck.
It's the girl who goes to a costume party and looks like she forgot that clothes were actually a necessity. Who am I to judge? Hell, if I had the body of Adrianna Lima from victorias secret...I would probably get arrested on the daily for indecent exposure. However...it gets old.
You're a one trick pony. It's almost like theres no more surprise factor...it's like, "okay if the theme of the party was silly string then I guess you're on point" but the theme is like "church" and yo ass is only wearing a cross. Call me crazy...but I think that's grounds for hell. Ok, so I didn't reallllly see this at a "church" themed party, but the point is...I would not put it past some girls I know.
Here's a tip, next time you go out somewhere and lets say the theme is "ABC" (anything but clothes) you wear something skanky yet funny like a dress made out of loofahs...instead of what people are already expecting out of you. Like 2 shoelaces.
Cause this is what is gonna happen, eventually people are just gonna start looking at you and be like "hmm I saw this coming, BORING" and you're gonna end up looking like a hot mess, like this girl below
on to the next one!
Example 2:
Mr. "I only listen to indie, i only eat tofu, and i only buy clothes that no one else owns" pretentious motherfucker i'd like to call...the delusional hipster/douche.
This guy bugs the FUCK OUT OF ME, which is saying a lot. For one thing, I know a dude or two like this. Perhaps 3 if I'm calling people out. Another thing is...I get these douches alllll the time downtown at work.
It's that one guy who is TOO COOL to listen to mainstream rock like the red hot chilli peppers or foo fighers and who deliberately tries to find indie groups that only vegan hipsters in Canada listen to.
He's that guy who only wears skinny jeans...hey I have nothing against skinny jeans. As a matter of fact, I LIKE TO SEE WHAT IM WORKING WITH, I embrace the skinny jeans on dudes. But when your skinny jeans are acid washed and you swear like they're vintage...then we got a problem.
You know this motherfucker probably used to be ghetto as fuck and wear rubberbands over the bottoms of his jeans...until being a hipster became "the new thing".
Worst of all, he's known for one thing...kind of like how the skanky dressing one trick pony is known for the "ohhh i thought everyone was gonna dress like this" excuse, this dude has the "im different, i speak and act and dress completely insignificantly to what society wants"
fuck you, you're a one trick pony and guess what? your trick ain't even that good.
There they are...minus the girls. UNinterested.com/ jenn
So there they are, the 2 species that I have the most trouble with.
If it were up to me, I'd teach these "one trick ponies" how to develop personalities. But then I would probably have to give up my social life because I'd be too busy helping them. Not an option.
Although this all just sounded like heavy ranting from a bitch who's on her period with a heavy flow...this isn't! I am NOT on my period...go girl, she ain't pms-ing. I think after going on facebook/myspace/ actually knowing people like this in real life has gotten me a little riled up.
But hey, don't let what I say affect how many tricks you wanna learn as a cute lil pony. After all, we are all just some ponies.
Some cuter than others, some more talented than others, and more importantly...some gayer than others.
AM I RIGGGGGGHHHHHT?
peace. love. and a pony that has at least 3 tricks.
<3j
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