The Thrill of the Chase

So I am trying to desperately find ways to avoid doing my accounting homework that's due at midnight tomorrow...so far so good.

I feel like if there's anything on my mind right now, it's that for one...this blog must be ressurrected! I feel like I haven't written in it in what seems forever. But now that it's summer, IT'S ON MOTHERFUCKER!

So here is what brings me into this entry, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?

I am STILL stuck on someone who is unattainable...not because he has a girlfriend, but because the universe has 1000 things that are keeping us from not being together.

We're like Ross and Rachel...except us being on a break doesn't get resolved in the final episode.

Then there's this new guy who visually is ideal. HE IS TALL, DARK, AND HANDSOME. But there are so many things that I find wrong with him.

-he has gay tendencies, some of the things he says...I seriously question on whether or not he means it.
-he doesn't exactly know how to be a gentleman 100%, I've paid for my own items more than once, and he has NEVER opened my door. hmmmm
-he acts like he knows me inside and out, and we've only hung out like 5 times.

BUT he is very attractive, aside from some outfit choices...he is visually approving. He is manly and can probably throw me across the room...which I like. However, if I am already finding all of these problems with him, why do I even indulge myself in still getting pursued by this dude.

That's exactly it, he is PURSUING ME. I really don't even call/text the guy, and I have also blatantly dissed him being the bitch that I am. Yet the still has the gall to want to see me. Call it my winning personality (har har), or call it his utter boredom...but he still wants to hang out with me weekly. That's cool.

My friend Luwam had one solution...USE HIM FOR HIS BODY. Well that did cross my mind. His arms alone are enough to keep me hanging on, no literally, I can probably hang off his arms and he would completely be unfazed by it. SUP MR. STRONG. wink wink.

So I can totally use his body and see what he's working with. But then I would feel as though I was soliciting prostitution...but worse! Because I wouldn't be paying him a dime.

Why is it that the good girls always go for the bad boys?
Or worse, why is it that I ALWAYS WANT WHAT I CAN'T HAVE, I really do go for the THRILL OF THE CHASE. When I first met this guy, I really liked him...but as he started to like me and I got to know him more...it felt KAPUT.

But don't be fooled guys...I wasn't always like this. MAYBE I'M OLD AND JADED. Who knows, all I know is this guy right now that is attractive and whatnot...sort of bores me. But then again, it also creates a nice little challenge for me. Maybe I can turn this boring guy into the guy of my dreams.

Or if Buddha is actually listening and caring...maybe that one unattainable guy and I will finally get together and say FUCK OFF to the universe.

Maybe I just like the thrill of the chase.
till next time...



peace, love, and chases
-j